Lack of intimacy, poor communication, disagreements on issues such as money, politics, religion and raising children. These are all factors that, if not addressed, may lead to marriage breakdown. Seeking marriage counselling for help before these issues get out of hand could not only save your marriage but also make it happier than ever before.
Drifting Apart
It starts out as a small thing. Forgetting to say goodbye now and then, overlooking a kiss on the cheek coming home or being too busy to cuddle up on the couch after dinner. When life gets busy with things such as work and raising a family, these little rituals that were once part of your life are often the first to slip away. Knowing that your partner will “always be there” can become synonymous with neglecting to be there with them on a day-to-day basis.
While it is natural to move towards individuating and inhabiting separate lives once the intensity of the early part of your relationship subsides, it is important to make sure the time you do have together is quality time.
The preferred ways people connect or create intimacy are different for everyone. For some people it is physical affection, for others, it is doing something together, expressing feelings and talking things through. Whatever it is for you, make sure you keep it up and communicate your needs to your partner. If you are finding your intimacy is drifting away and you have difficulty discussing this with your partner, seeking relationship advice can help.
Conflicting Values
Even a relationship that is still high on intimacy can suffer when core values are not in alignment. It is not uncommon for couples to be unaware of where their partner stands on various issues until the issue arises later on. Financial collaboration, the division of domestic duties and approaches to parenting are common areas where disagreements can surface. Seeking help to navigate these issues and create harmony could be a key step in saving your marriage.
Politics and Religion
These issues are important ones to negotiate, being values that you and your partner have most likely held for a lifetime. There is no magic formula for agreeing to disagree, but communicating respectfully and honestly is vital. Trying to change your partner’s view will only make things worse. Understanding where they are coming from, and talking things through, will let your partner know that you are not trying to change them. They are then much more likely to relax the grip on their ideology and allow space for yours.
Getting Help
Sometimes, these issues seem insurmountable. This is a good time to seek the help of a mediator. There are many benefits of couple’s therapy and it can help you move through this time of transition together. If it comes to pass that separation is the best course of action for you, couples counselling can help make this transition a smooth one, especially where family matters are concerned.
Call 02 6262 6157 to secure an appointment with a Psychologist within seven days.