Transitioning to Single Life

Whether it be navigating a tough divorce or letting go of the person you thought would be your life partner, break ups are an incredibly difficult part of life.  Dealing with powerful and overwhelming emotions is tough. Not to mention, trying to figure out how to function in your daily life as a single person!  If you are struggling through a break up and unsure of what to do next, here are a few helpful tips to allow you to heal and grow through this difficult time.

Allow Yourself to Grieve: I know it may sound odd to use the word grieve in the context of a break up and not a death, but the emotions are incredibly similar. The individual who played a daily role in your life will no longer be there.  You may have had hope and dreams for the relationship that are no longer possible. Allow yourself to grieve the ending of the relationship and the future you envisioned together.  Take time away.  Allow yourself some extra free time to process this change in your life.  Crying can be therapeutic and an important part of healing.  Give yourself permission to let the tears flow.

Let Go of the ‘What ifs’: It will be impossible to truly recover from a break up if you are holding on to a hope of getting back together. Let go of the thoughts like ‘What if we get back together?’, ‘What if things change?’ Give yourself the opportunity to heal and grow through this change by truly letting go of the relationship.  Remembering beautiful moments of the relationship can be helpful in the grieving process but there will come a time when you will need to clearly remember why the relationship ended.  Perhaps journal about what you learned as a result of the relationship.  Seeing your significant other may be painful and encourage these ‘What if’ thoughts.  Removing as much contact with your ex can be tremendously helpful in this process, whether that be removing them from social media or getting rid of phone numbers.  Set yourself up with the best opportunity to heal.

Seek Support from Others: Relationships are our most intimate support systems, so ending a relationship can leave us feeling alone.  This is your opportunity to reach out to others around you who also love and support you.  Family members and friends can listen to your struggles and help you rebuild after your break up.  Communicating your feelings about the break up to people who care can be an important part of the healing process.  Not to mention, restoring your social life and having fun can be a great opportunity to boost your mood.  You deserve a night out.

Redefine You: It can be helpful to view a break up as a new beginning rather than just an ending.  Take this opportunity to think about who you are outside of this relationship, maybe even try something new!  Reevaluate your goals and dreams.  Perhaps you will find them beginning to shift with your new found independence. Focus on your strengths and aspirations and soon you will be able to embrace this new season of your life.

Although quite painful, the ending of a relationship can also be a powerful moment in someone’s life.  If you are struggling to heal from a break up, speaking to a psychologist can help.  To book in a time to speak to a psychologist contact us (02) 6262 6157 or book an appointment online

Related reading:

Why Resilience?
Is it Meant to Be? 5 Things in Considering a Long Term Relationship
Self Compassion: How to be Kind to Yourself

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