It is trust that allows us to navigate the uncertain and complex world we live in today. With the rise of the internet, mobile phones, email, chat and social media, it is so much easier for people to connect or spend more time with co-workers than with family or significant others.
Trust is integral to happy and fulfilling relationships in both our personal and professional lives. We require trust to develop over time to build successful and meaningful partnerships.
According to The Relationships Indicators Survey 2011, the top four reasons for relationship breakdowns are
- financial stress
- communication difficulties
- different values
- lack of trust.
Authentic trust involves moods and emotions, trusting of ourselves and our own judgements, trusting of others and the ability to forgive when agreements are broken. Trust cannot be built if one person is willing and the other person is not.
Two people sharing a successful relationship will demonstrate trust in a number of ways, including the following ways:
- Listening and supporting each other.
- Showing consideration and care.
- Trusting each other that you know what is best for yourself.
- Showing mutual respect for boundaries.
- Being dependable for the other person.
- No matter what comes up you can feel safe.
- Resolving conflicts in healthy ways.
- Matchup between words and actions.
- Not controlling or monitoring each other.
- Trusting each other no matter where they are or whom they are with.
- A tight, strong bond.
When a couple has built a solid partnership on trust, they are free to be their authentic selves. Gaining trust takes time, and trust is a choice.
Life is full of uncertainties and if you have been hurt, either in the past or with your current partner, where your trust has been broken, you have to continue to trust yourself and trust your own instincts. It is quite common for one person to transfer their lack of trust onto a new partner in fear that history will repeat itself. Your previous partners or spouses made a choice, but you can move forward and take responsibility for your happiness.
If you are stuck and feel that you cannot even trust your own judgment then this is the time to seek professional counselling – and perhaps not the time to start a new relationship.
At Strategic Psychology, we offer professional couples and marriage counselling to help address challenges in communication, trust and intimacy.
You can access individual assistance or come as a couple. We can help provide the framework for improving your relationship — with yourself and your partner — and help you achieve the change you need.