Once you have established a committed relationship, there are certain things you can do to support growth, happiness and longevity. Do not be concerned if these things don’t spring instantly to mind. It is perfectly natural for relationship maintenance to take some thought and a little effort. It can be easy to forget or overlook your partner’s day-to-day emotional needs, especially when you are busy, distracted or assuming our partner “just knows” that you care.
Becoming aware of how you are both going in your relationship and when some attention may be needed is a good step forward – and one which improves with practice. A trained professional can help you to recognise problem areas.
Recognising Signs of Neglect
We all have different ways of communicating when we feel neglected. Sometimes we may not even be aware we are feeling neglected. We may become irritable, short-tempered, needy or distant. Learning to recognise these signs in yourself and your partner is a skill that can be developed during couple’s therapy. This enables you to express your needs rather than reacting to your partner negatively. You can then establish positive, pro-active behaviour. Sometimes following a set course of action can work wonders. Do not worry if it feels unusual at first. It will become more natural with time.
Everyday Rituals for Enhancing Happiness:
- Cook – Preparing food and eating together is a basic ritual for creating, nurturing and sharing an experience together.
- Talk – Discussing the affairs of the day will help establish what is going on in your partner’s world.
- Compliment – Giving a compliment is an infusion of energy; a gift.
- Reach out – Small gestures of affection build intimacy without pressure.
- Reflect – Remembering important events consolidates unity and trust.
- Laugh – Keeping your sense of humour is vital.
- Time out – Massage and meditation, even informally, will help you connect and build intimacy.
- Exercise – Doing this together promotes happy endorphins, positivity and healthy habits.
- Singing – Together, this creates harmony and takes you out of your comfort zone.
- Listen to music – This can bring shared enjoyment and build connection.
- Read – Out loud for something different. It is nurturing, nostalgic and reminiscent of childhood.
- Simplicity – A cup of tea in bed is always nice.
- Little notes – Leaving a note on the fridge, or a voice or text message can make your partner feel remembered and considered.
- Affirm things you like about each other’s behaviour. This opens your heart and teaches you to nurture yourself as well.
- Make plans together – it fortifies your bond and expresses commitment.
- Socialising together allows you to see your partner in a different setting.
- Surprises – These keep things fun, especially for the one planning the surprise!
- Crying together, when it feels right, creates empathy, nurtures vulnerability and builds emotional honesty.
Are you seeking relationship or marriage counselling? Call 02 6262 6157 to secure an appointment with a Psychologist within seven days.